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As I have said before... - Too much floccinaucinihilipilification. Not enough supercalifragilisticexpial...

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October 13th, 2016


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11:07 pm - As I have said before...
Holy jumping pious jumping things. You - that would be me - may remember over a month ago I posted this about my agent finally getting in touch, after months of silence, with a prospective half-decent job; I was even surprised. Then I heard nothing.

Today I get a phone call from her again and she starts talking to me about a temp job. "You may remember I put you forward a while ago for etc etc" - Yes, I said, the one I never heard back from you regarding. "Oh." she said. After some curious vague explanation of the job and what happened and the usual half-arsed apologising of the caught-out she went on to ask if I'd like to do some temp work there on their reception. The rate is utter shite, it's only four random days over a period of eight, the place is now not somewhere I'd choose to be and to top it all the person I'd be working for is the person who got the job that I didn't even get a chance to interview for (more on this in a second, don't wish to get ahead of myself). And yet my agent thought I'd be happy to go for this as if there wasn't the slightest problem or perhaps implied sleight.

Seriously, I used to be thinking they were disingenuous at best but now I'm not sure if they're supremely malevolent or supremely dim; after all incredibly stupid people are very successful as we all know, and she's doing just fine. I'm still undecided. Neither is a good prospect.

Anyway. After some back-peddling and waffling from her I simply agree. For only one reason. I really need to get the fuck out of this flat. Even for a few shite days with no future to them. And if I'm getting paid to be the other side of the city with zero commitments to an awkward situation then all the better. Ho. Ho. Ho. For me it represents a break to my norm; which psychologically I really need right now. Just a little bit even. In any normal circumstances I'd very likely have said a resounding NO and ceased to have anything to do with this agent.

Indeed, later on, just after five I e-mailed to say I'd not had the confirmation details (without which I was going nowhere; get it in writing!). She phoned me up to clarify a couple of things and then - completely bizarrely - said she owed me another apology because she was actually wrong about the previous job's circumstances having gone back and checked her notes. Apparently the remit had changed again and the person chosen to interview was felt a more appropriate fit. I hadn't asked for this qualification but she continued and what she said next nearly had me hanging up on her. She went on to describe the job as A rather than B. The way she outlined A was literally what I am best known for and have the longest running experience in. Basically not a job I'd be thrilled doing but the very job I've done before and in much worse circumstances with far higher stress and responsibility. But she'd sold me to them as B because that was the remit she was working from and had convinced herself I was; because that was what the client wanted. And she said all this to me with such gushing innocence that I really couldn't tell if she was utterly clueless about what she was doing to me or really, really wanted to rub my nose in it.

Y'see, if it's the latter I have no fucking idea why? Frankly every job I've done for them has been because they couldn't get anyone else to do it - especially at short notice - and the pay was shite. I've basically bailed them out and made them money doing it. So I just cannot understand why ANYONE would behave like that. And I'm wondering if that's the point: be so fucking nasty but without giving it away directly that it sows doubt. I may be a sucker but I'm not so green as I am cabbage looking so I know that playing THAT one around in my head on an infinite loop - which may also be the point - is a one-way ticket to the rubber room (and not the fun kind). As is - of course - the kind of paranoia that reasons in the manner I am now. And that kind of reasoning may come from my maddening isolation and severe downturn of the last year or so. Of course, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you. Wibble.

Soooo, I'm going to try and just forget this and maintain my own reason for doing the gig and just get this next week out of the way.

I'll go (more?) bonkers later. Quietly or otherwise.


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{Stun Me With Your Cunning}


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