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Negative Probability Nexus - Too much floccinaucinihilipilification. Not enough supercalifragilisticexpial...

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October 25th, 2016


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11:11 pm - Negative Probability Nexus
I have, for many years now, used the phrase Negative Probability Nexus to describe myself. Assuming you're not some yuppie can-do motherfucker piece-of-shit you know that one doesn't "make ones's own luck" as some entitled cunts who've never had to try will happily tell you. Life's not that simple.

Many, many years ago I would lament the sheer bad luck - the negative probabilities - that seemed to befall me, as against the mathematical averages. People nodded, dismissively or sneered openly. Then Mikel stayed with me for three months until he could find somewhere to live and was aghast as what he actually saw happen to me in that time. As he put it. "Inanimate objects are at war with you." He would even be telling his friends this more than a decade later, the next time I saw him physically, in California.

Basically in terms of me and everyday reality: Shit happened.

More often than other people would attribute as normal.

A little while ago I posted about my lamentable agency getting me some work for the first time in eight months. Two days one week and two days the following. Whoop. Ee. Turned out the client was impressed. Oh they always are; it never matters. They wanted me back to do the entirety of the third week.

Only I had Jury Duty.

Yes, that's right, I get offered a whole weeks actual income for the first time in the eight months that have left me (us; this household) in crippling debt and I. Get. Jury. Duty. Which is a week of pre-selection call-outs. What a coincidence dot dot dot

Because it's temp work, unprovable income, I can't get compensation. Then - miraculously - the agency comes to my aid, they say "We'll sign anything they want to say you were offered work for the week; and so will the client." (As I said, the client likes me; they always do and it always never matters.) So there's this possibility of actually getting the weeks money back.

I turn up Monday. Wait with everyone else for two and half hours and we are are then all sent home because of "technical problems". Modern courts - too much digital reliance. However as we leave, the Clerk Of The Court says "Phone the helpline tomorrow evening to check for updated instructions." Not, pointedly, THAT evening. Turns out they have another intake of Jurors on the Tuesday. The idea being they're gradually thinned out over the week as people are excused or dismissed prior to selection. Indeed, about a quarter of those who turned up with me on Monday were let go after presenting valid reasons. So the remainder of my intake has to ostensibly go in back on Wednesday, not the next day, Tuesday. But we weren't told this beforehand, nor is it mentioned on the website.

So I can't get compensation for a day I'm not required even if I can't now get the work for that day. Great.

This evening I phone the helpline as instructed only to hear a message telling those who were cited (like myself) to turn up on Monday can now consider themselves unrequired and their Jury Citation ended. Don't come back. Reading between the lines this means the technical problems are carrying over and they're got a surplus of potential jurors now. because they haven't managed to resolve them (i.e. have any complicated trials).

That would be fine except of course now, the agency have already given my assignment to a girl instead and I can now not claim any expenses because I'm not actually doing the fucking Jury Duty this week.

So: I have lost the chance of a week's income after eight months and then had the circumstances to be compensated for that removed.

And this kind of thing happens to me ***ALL*** the time.

But you don't believe that, do you? Because that's not your personal experience.

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{Stun Me With Your Cunning}


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